“A cement mixer collided with a prison van.I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I’m not following you.” The Best One Of These Quick One Liner Jokes For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.“Hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.” Milton Jones.That is wrong on so many different levels.” Tim Vine I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets? Then it hit me.I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.If you like this clever one liner about love, you’ll also like these 77 Best Funny Love Quotes. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights.The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” “At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t.What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything goes wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse. The easiest job in the world has to be coroner.A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.”.You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.” “You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. “The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.”.“Worrying works! More than 90 percent of the things I worry about never happen.”.“Always borrow money from a pessimist.These are some of the cleverest funny one liner jokes you’ll ever read. If you like at least one of the last three brilliant one-liner jokes you’ve just read, you’ll also like these hilarious Norm Macdonald jokes because he said those three jokes. That worries me, because I’m afraid of dogs.” If you like this one-liner joke, please share it to Pinterest now because your buddies will like it too. “They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself.“They’re like ‘You’re an alcoholic.’ I go ‘No, I’m not.’ and then-apparently that’s what alcoholics say too, you know?” Most Brilliant One-Liner Joke, Yet It’s Quirky.Until Tiger showed up, they weren’t in very good shape.” “When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man.What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.What’s one thing a grizzly bear can break just by growling? The sound bearier.It’s for anyone hoping to make a quick buck. How do koala bears stop a TV show? They hit the paws button.I’m sure you’ll like these jokes because they’re brilliant. You’ll also definitely enjoy a video below with hilarious one liners. If you’ve enjoyed these extremely funny one liner jokes, you’ll also enjoy these really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.” Unknown “I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.“Circumcision is popular because Jewish girls won’t touch anything that’s not at least 15% off.” Unknown.“It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” Woody Allen.My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem.No use two people remembering the same thing. Any married person should forget his mistakes.“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” Mark Twain.My dealer sure has some explaining to do.” Unknown “The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.” Unknown. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx I’ve lost three days already.” Tommy Cooper
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